He's in love with who you used to be. He's in love with the woman you were when you met. Right now you two are doing a thing called ';dating'; or ';courting';. And in many cases that's the best part of the relationship. This will be super hard to do, but if I were you I would try to keep things as light, as fun, and as relaxed as I can with him WITHOUT pressuring him about getting back together. TRUST ME.....the more fun he has with you, the more quality time you spend, and yes......perhaps the more love making you do....he will eventually wonder why you two are getting a divorce too! So go out to dinners! Go to parks! Have picnics! Invite him out for a drink or two! Do the things that two people do when they're in love! But don't ask about filing papers, getting back together, or doing anything to burst the bubble. You two are having FUN despite your infidelity. Don't screw that up with your desire to be reassured that you're staying together.....How to make him fall BACK in love with me?
Yes you made a mistake, but that doesn't mean that your relationship can't be rebuilt. Enjoy the fun you're having and the closeness you're sharing! It's what made him want to marry you to begin with!!!
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You can't MAKE someone love you. Cheating is a MAJOR turnoff to men and women both. He took his vows seriously, obviously you didn't.
first of all dont sleep with him until you get the relationship back together, that will mean to him that he can do what he wants with you and remain single. gain his trust back, tell him where you will be, assure to him that you would never leave him...etc. how would you feel if you were in his place and he cheated? what could he do to gain your trust back? apply that to him
Sounds like he too is still in love, but is trying to protect himself from getting hurt. Best thing to do is give him time to forgive you. It already sounds like he wants to. Ask him not to divorce you just yet, ask for a trial separation, before you go through with the actual divorce. Ask him for time so you can prove yourself to him.
You can't MAKE someone love you.
But, that's not the issue. Obviously, he loves you. But you have violated his trust. In order for him to open up and fully take you back, he needs time to see that you won't ever let that mistake happen again.
Unfortunately, these types of situations cannot be remedied quickly. Fortunately, true love is worth the wait.
Good luck.
you can't. if you love him why did you cheat??
i dnt think he will ever get over this even if he does forgiv you nothing will ever be the same...
First of all, he's probably very hurt and confused. Secondly, he can't MAKE anyone fall back in love with you. And lastly, You have to change your attitude.....the ';I can make him so happy, no one else can'; attitude. If it was true, you wouldn't have cheated on him in the first place. And just saying that screams out that you have personal issues. There are lots of people out there that could make him happy. Each person is different in how they react to betryal, and it soulds like he's just using you until he moves on to someone who won't cheat. My advie...counseling. Individual for you and also together with him.
Java Jive's answer is a good one here, but I would add to that...you must consider your feellings and values also. You sound so needy after your mistake, that you would do anything to have him back. There must be forgiveness on both parts of this won't work no matter what you do. I've counseled to many and seen too many folks reconcile after adultry....but they never really forgave the guilty party....so abuse just continues....and you are being emotionally abused right now....he has it all with no conditions....he is single for all practical purpuses and dating and getting all the sex ( it sounds like) he wants.
Frankly, this does not show much character on his part and indicates no real forgiveness on his part. You need to be on your own...stop throwing yourself at him....you made a mistake...you are sorry for it....but if he does not what to take you back then you move on. All the best to you.
you have cheated fell from the pedistal....you are lumped in the rgular catergory now
You made your bed now lay in it
You blew it. Now take responsability for your actions and suck it up.
So....it wasn't a mistake until you got caught? Hmmm
So, only ';you'; can make him happy?? hahahaaahh Oh please
So, he is not the one to ';hurt'; you?? Guess what? you hurt him first.
Payback is a ******, isn't it?
If divorcing you will make him happy, then do it. Good for him!
It must be gross to be married to someone that has been sleeping around..... ewwwww...grosss
Good luck
If you can make him so happy then why did you hurt him by cheating on him?
I think you need to give him more time to work out what he really wants and if its a divorce he wants, them give it to him. you can't blame him for your 'mistake'. you may have to move on and forget about him
Here we go again: blah, blah, blah... if I've said it a hundred times, I'll still probably say it a hundred more times.
You don't make anybody feel any way. They either feel that way or they don't.
When you cheated on this man, you weren't really all that interested in him (or your marriage), and you two probably had fallen into one of those ruts where you stopped doing things for each other to keep the relationship in that positive territory where cheating doesn't happen. Because... if you/him are highly interested in your partner, you won't cheat. You won't do it--you won't even consider it. If you are really, really interested, you won't even think about it. That's the honest-to-God truth no matter what the pin heads here or on Oprah try to tell you.
You cheated on him, now he's made himself unavailable, and that FINALLY has you interested in HIM again. So... let's say that over time... he becomes interested in his cheating wife again (and there's hope for you because he still wants to be ';friends';--yeah, like that is going to work right now--but that hope could be legitimate, or he could be stringing you along until he finds your replacement: maybe somebody who hasn't cheated on him.). See what a mess you've made?
I'm afraid things will never be the same again. I am also afraid that your interest in him is temporary, and if by some miracle you two do reunite, then you two will eventually let the relaitonship grow so dull that you do it again (BTW--people with integrity don't cheat--they'll divorce first because they take that commitment seriously and they are who they say they are).
Geez... what a mess. Hope you're learning from this. Most don't. 66% of second marriages fail, and that's my proof that people who get divorced mostly don't ever figure out how to avoid divorce.
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